Monday, September 27, 2004


Story Developing

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

You Send me a form 80 and I'll sign that Fucker!

YYYYAAAAWWWWW! (That was my Howard Dean yell)

Dan Rather Exclusive

Military Records Released
Obtained via www.fuckyourcouch.blogspot.com

An intern on my sub-committee informed me that Derek Scarbrough has formed a 527 group named
Signals Intelligence Veterans for Truth
to discredit my military service. Why? Why not. So I'll just go ahead and beat him to the punch.

Synopsis of Corporal Alexander M Fritz, USMC Service Records:

Jul 1999 - Dec 1999
Attends basic training in San Diego, CA. Meritoriously promoted to Private First Class after being voted "Most Likely To Rub People The Wrong Way While In The Military" by his drill instructors

Jan 2000 - May 2000
Attends training in Pensacola, FL. A lifetime fascination with casual sex is born.

Jun 2000 - Dec 2001
Stationed in Camp LeJeune, NC. Sets Alltime record for most time spent TAD. Studies conducted at Camp LeJeune find productivity to be at it's highest when Fritz is not present.

Jan 2002 - Apr 2002
Assigned to JTF 160, Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Proceded to be intoxicated 166 hours out of every week. During the remaining two hours of every week, he worked so diligintly that he was awarded the Joint Service Achievement Medal.

May 2002 - Jul 2002
Returns to NC. Becomes very jaded and cynical. Moves to the beach.

Aug 2002
Stabs a high ranking superior. Because of his actions, he is forced to dye his hair black.

Sep 2002 - Dec 2002
Drinks an amazing amount of box wine

Jan 2003 - May 2003
Sits in the desert and hides from missiles like a little pussy

Jun 2003
Stays in a hotel in Cartagena, Spain for five days, drinking enough to kill a small Asian family. Leaves the hotel at night to instigate fights with Morocans.

Jul 2003 - Mar 2004
Sets a world record by spending 7 1/2 out of 9 months on leave. Productivity at Camp LeJeune reaches an alltime high.

Apr 2004 - Jun 2004
Is deputized as a military policeman. Makes an old lady cry.

July 2004
Honorably Discharged(!)

So there you have it. Nothing to hide in my military records. Just a lot of box wine, mix cd's, and bad haircuts.

Nothing to hide Cpl Fritz how about signing the Form 80 and do something that John Kerry has not. Who are trying to fool with your synopsis. A synopsis of your military records done by the very person in question is not exactly full disclosure.

This ad has been paid for by: OIF VETS for TRUTH

Unfit for the Screen

NEW YORK -- George Butler, a filmmaker and photographer best known for documentaries celebrating Arnold Schwarzenegger (Pumping Iron) and Ernest Shackleton (The Endurance), has finally decided what to call his John Kerry campaign movie, er, documentary. Coming to theaters in October, the film is titled Going Upriver: The Long War of John Kerry.

Butler has been following and photographing Kerry for 35 years, which should qualify him for some kind of clinical diagnosis. According to a summer article in the New York Times, he has accumulated footage of "both of Mr. Kerry's weddings, all of his campaigns, countless family vacations."

It's a good thing conservatives have taken such total control of the American media. Otherwise this year's unprecedented onslaught of partisan filmmaking might be viewed as coordinated, or worse, in violation of campaign finance laws. In 2004, Democratic-friendly filmmakers have brought the Ghosts of White Houses Past, Present and maybe Future to the big screen. We've had The Hunting of the President, about the vast right-wing conspiracy to destroy Bush's predecessor; Fahrenheit 9/11, about the evils of Bush himself; and now Butler's mock documentary about Kerry, Bush's potential successor. And these are only the most obvious examples.

Going Upriver will have to go a long way to match Pumping Iron for the arrogance, self-importance, and petty nastiness of its protagonist, but Butler may have the goods in the senator from Massachusetts. Kerry's hubris has only grown since that April day in 1971 when he defamed a generation of United States troops in order to jumpstart his political career. At least in Schwarzenegger's case, a viewer can look back at his 1970s megalomania and sense that age has tempered him to a degree. But 35 years of Kerry footage will remind most viewers of those people they run into at class reunions and think, "God, he's an even bigger ass than he was then."

If Kerry's personality wasn't bad enough, his life presents an even bigger problem for Butler.

For starters, how will the filmmaker handle the fallout from Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, as set out in campaign ads and the best-selling book, Unfit for Command? The Kerry campaign has already retracted or obscured several of his longstanding Vietnam claims, including the Christmas in Cambodia tale.

Butler must be editing frantically in advance of the release date. He'll have to make sure that he cuts any footage of Kerry's 1986 speech on the floor of the Senate, where he declared that memories of his holiday in Cambodia were "seared -- seared -- in me." Extensive accounts of the heroics that Kerry performed in winning his medals will have to be carefully reviewed as well, as some of these have been called into serious question, if not debunked.

Butler can find less ambiguity in his hero's antiwar activities. There are no disputes about what Kerry said to the Senate Foreign Relations Committee on April 22, 1971. It's all in black and white. No doubt Butler will select carefully here as well. He probably won't include the part where Kerry wishes that a "merciful God could wipe away" his memories of Vietnam. If God had been more attentive, there would be no Kerry campaign. Butler probably won't include the moment when Kerry dismisses the Cold War and pontificates about American consumerism when he says: "There is no threat. The Communists are not about to take over our McDonald hamburger stands."

And Butler certainly won't waste any footage discussing Kerry's debut as an author with The New Soldier, which Kerry wrote with fellow members of Vietnam Veterans Against the War. At the end of that book, which sports an infamous cover photo of veterans holding a flag upside down, the future senator writes:

…the New Soldier does not accept the old myths. We will not quickly join those who march on Veterans' Day waving small flags, calling to memory those thousands who died for the "greater glory of the United States." We will not accept the rhetoric. We will not readily join the American Legion and the Veterans of Foreign Wars…We will not uphold traditions which decorously memorialize that which was base and grim.

It is from these things the New Soldier is asking America to turn.

So what is Butler left with? The uncontested portions of Kerry's war record, now somewhat reduced by the Swifties' revelations; the unfortunately unambiguous antiwar record; and a long, forgettable career in Washington.

Maybe Butler should focus on footage from the "countless family vacations." There must be some good stuff in there that even a merciful God wouldn't wipe away.

Monday, September 20, 2004

What Media Bias

EXCLUSIVE // Mon Sep 20 2004 11:58:02 ET

Last week, amid increasing questions about the authenticity of documents used in support of a 60 MINUTES WEDNESDAY story about President Bush's time in the Texas Air National Guard, CBS News vowed to re-examine the documents in question—and their source—vigorously. And we promised that we would let the American public know what this examination turned up, whatever the outcome.

Now, after extensive additional interviews, I no longer have the confidence in these documents that would allow us to continue vouching for them journalistically. I find we have been misled on the key question of how our source for the documents came into possession of these papers. That, combined with some of the questions that have been raised in public and in the press, leads me to a point where—if I knew then what I know now—I would not have gone ahead with the story as it was aired, and I certainly would not have used the documents in question.

But we did use the documents. We made a mistake in judgment, and for that I am sorry. It was an error that was made, however, in good faith and in the spirit of trying to carry on a CBS News tradition of investigative reporting without fear or favoritism.

Please know that nothing is more important to us than people's trust in our ability and our commitment to report fairly and truthfully.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Sorry Matt Kalinoski...28-20 Irish

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Does Anybody Have Balls Anymore

As I sit here in the comfort of my shelter and watch all the right is wronged. I wonder if being castrated is a prerequisite for leadership. Now adays standing up for what you believe is merely a myth or a ritual that has been long forgotten. If only we could be issued balls with our promotion warrants. Increasing in size with every promotion. I won't go as far as to say that every leader is ball less but a good amount are. They would much rather complain about problems than stand up against the man and voice their damn opinion. I frankly am I tired of it and have found this ridiculous site to release my frustration.
I am your burning hatred for me….for us.

It starts with a sort of flourish of character. Someone says something amusing at precisely the right time so as to appropriately convince the people around them that they’re worth listening to. As if it wasn’t enough that this baseless conclusion was reached, but to go further this person is now trusted. They are part of this vicious inner-circle…this brood of vipers. I open up my intellect and sacrifice myself at the feet of your savage idol of a god only to be met with bad memories. You are something of an enigma I admit. Not everyone can live your massive lie. Not everyone can be the smiling lapdog, head firmly inserted in ass, unable to hear the world passing by. We can’t all blithely accept that equality isn’t always a good thing…that sometimes you have to actually BE equal, to be treated equal. Fuck your equality. Did you think this would be easy? Did you think that if you could just get by a few more years that everyone would accept you? You can’t change who you are you silly boy. You can’t see without your glasses any better than you can survive without your position. How do you look at yourself at night, in the quiet of a day’s end? Who do you see in the mirror? If you shared my eyes you would peel away your bitter face and spit blood at your false reflection. Your eyes deceive; you are not accepted here. How did you convince yourself that you’d become king? How could you revel in the legacy built by a madman? I wonder if you sleep alone at night, or beneath another’s arm? Do you curl up and die inside? Is this the life you dreamt of in your childish dreams? I suppose it must be, and I hope you die inside every night you go home to your false life. I hope someday you wake up angry and alone…wishing you had done it all so much differently. You are the Hydra and I, Hercules. If I remove one of your heads you will sprout another in its place. You will fill this precious void with another one of your assembly line failures. I could almost taste the revolution. I still feel the air of change sometimes…washing over the rifts you have left in your passing. I still think about pulling back the pale lids from your eyes and showing you life. You are a dead thing. Your sick color is the evidence that there is no life in you. Your smile is but a reflection of a human emotion you once knew. I hate you all the same…I hate you all the same. How will you breathe without this air I give you Hydra? How will you hang onto this life? I watch you from the corner of my wicked eye…watch you digging in hooks for your future. I see how you suck away new life and spit out a husk of humanity. You are not man…you are beast…you are cancer. I call upon the few to excise you with fire, with pain, and with death. There is no future here for you. Go into the desert to die with nothing but your lies for comfort.

Friday, September 03, 2004

Week 1 At Blue Dizzle

Alright Playas I'm back with another post. Here's the sum of it. Suits is on his quest to become Jim Morrison. Bernie has continued being Bernie. Adamic's still slothing around like it's the end of the world. Saeger is still pumping iron like a mad man and avoiding the a girlie man who said "He must work out". He really did say that. Well the toughest thing I'm faceing is trying to get along with all these jackasses. We have the ocasional mortar and rockets but thats about it. Everything is pretty smooth here. They even got a Turkish shop where they sell all kinds of movie boot legs. Who needs SuperNova. My main man Ali hooks it up all kinds of cool shit. Alright thats it.

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