Sunday, August 29, 2004

Dirty and Suits

Alright bitches Dirty and Suits(Short for Two Suits) have arrived here in Blue Dizzle. Not a bad pad. We got here Friday night which I might add is a record time. So as you can tell by reading this very post I have the capability of posting new shit. So you know what that means. Well as you might expect there some fucked up shit going on here. It's the usual suspects. Other than that its just me running the 20 footer. We have a sweet set up in Blue Dizzle. Alright bitches I got to run I got to go tend to my sheep. If you want to contact me here is my new email address sanchezjm@1mardivdm.usmc.mil .

Friday, August 27, 2004

Amongst the Coals

There are sometimes fires that burn and soar and consume the soul. On occasion these fires pour their white heat into the sky and create the sort of mirages that baffle the mind. It is during these mirages that a new hope steps onto the scene. Standing high to pit his might against the awesome "Tony" he swings his mighty K-Bar from its sheath. The surrounding hills echo with the shout of his challenge. "You wanna fight bitch?" The ancient "Bernie" wields his blade before him with the grace of Excalibur, slashing away the darkness of night in huge swaths. Thunder peals across the sky as Tony tears the shirt from his back and charges in a maddened rage at the brazen Bernie. "I'll crush you like the bug you are Bernice!" the furious Tony rages, his anger fueled by the belittling laughter of the lesser man.
It is here on this charred battlefield that hope will shine through the madness and forever free us. Should the chosen lose his footing all is lost, as the section would hurtle into oblivion never to be seen again. Pray long tonight my children. Dream deep your dreams of three day weekends, and work time get-togethers involving sports and alcoholic beverages...for should the chosen lose these dreams are for naught. I hope not all is lost...I hope the failure faulters....

Friday, August 20, 2004

The Sum of it All.
I exist. I pour my thoughts onto the palette and paint the imagery as I see it. I blog therefore I am. "It's all really a joke." "We're only playing around." I wasn't...ever...not once. I typed the words and meant everything they've ever said. If I've hurt or alienated you, so fucking what? There is nothing sweeter in life than truth, eh? I guess the saddest thing is that you all laugh along at some point. Sooner or later I take a shot at someone that doesn't hold your allegiance, and you share my pleasure in seeing the truth right there for all to know. If the day ever came that the cursor were pointed in your direction I feel maybe the sentiment would be different. Maybe you wouldn't laugh along if you knew that this was all the bitter outlet of an anti-social person that didn't know any other way to smother you with his opinion. I've had a good time with it all of course, but you're all just so fucking trite. Sometimes I wish that I could really say the words...rather than hide their meaning so as to avoid the hysteria of someone actually opening their mouth. You all look at us like we're such a bunch of assholes because we tear people down. At least we really know what we think about each other. There is no confusion there. Meanwhile we keep silent around the others, so as to not stir the water so much that we can't keep our footing. We laugh at you. Our mocking voices have found each of you in turn. None have been spared, we are very thorough. Final thought: I really do hate all of you. That's what keeps us held together. We come into work every day and nearly spill over with loathing for the people around us. Pay attention, you'll see what I mean. Or maybe you won't...maybe I'm delusional, and this is all my imagination.

After all...we're only playing around...

By: DolaMACK!

Those robes...they hypnotize me. Something about the way they walk around with their eyes down to the ground makes me want to liberate that ass. I am talking, of course, about the Iraqi woman. We have gone to great lengths to reinforce their economy, and put the country back into the hands of the people, but what about them bitches? Who's gonna take care of them bitches? I'll do it, and I'll love it.
They're over there screaming for it...for me...for the MACK. I can hear them all the way across the Atlantic. They pray fervently, 5 times daily, asking God for me. The winds are changing, I can feel it. I'm coming ladies...I'm coming to liberate you.
Isn't it wonderful? Imagine the feeling they have just as I brush away the cobwebs and shatter their ancient hymen. Imagine the pleasure. I know their transgression with an infidel will condemn them all to hell. The abyss will be sweet respite from my hot love. I'm coming for you girls. Grrrr.

Friday, August 13, 2004


Gay Tony will soon begin his long sought journey to de-thrown and out perform the former(EVIL) computer guru. While lets face it old Moon Dog wasn't much of a people person. Well except in his own eyes. He also wasn't a push over. It was that trait that kept him alive in a shark infested ocean, and dominate the scene in Funky Town. We got to hand it to him he has managed to slip out of the tightest grip the Marine Corps could bear. Whether it was a request mast,charge sheets, or even some kind of Scott Peterson scandal he always lived to see another day. With that said Gay Tony's got his work cut out for him. Can a easy going giant play nice and still come out on top in this evil world. I would like to think so but like a reality show there is always a twist. The Mythical Monitor which till this day has not been proven to actually exist has dealt us a pair of shit. Yes my friends a big fucking pair of shit. The arrival of the illmatic Bernie has changed the landscape of the playing field that was once left for the taking. We are in the middle of a civil war my friends. Not a physical war (which would be fucking hilarious because Tony would beat the fuck out of Bernie) but one more likened to the current Presidential election. One of slander,flip flopping, and yes bad hair. Open your eyes and you will see it. Ever since the departure of Red Shit. Tony filled the void of the ill spoken red head. Then on a sunny Monday morning out of no where arrived our knight in shining armor. There was all kind of speculation. Would he be a hard ass,would he be a big pussy, or would he be the great messiah who would lead us in Jihad against the infidels of the 2nd floor. Oh how we could only dream he would break the spell casted upon us by the great warlock (Mooney). Our shackles would disintegrate in mid air and we would be free again. We knew that if he was the Messiah we would finally go TAD,get out of working parties,and just plain be some bad mother fuckas. For the first few days we probed his defenses just like any good soldierwould. We played his little fucking games oh god did we play his games. To Be Continued.............


Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Make the "SANCHEZ REPORT" your homepage or next time I'm naked.

Thursday, August 05, 2004

The Sanchez Report is winding down and somewhere in the midwest an unemployed school boy has created a new voice for his generation. I give you:


It's a testament to my boredom. I've become such a rabid pop-culture junkie over the couse of the summer that I must now let my opinions be heard. Well, gotta go...It's drinkey time. The party never stops here on the mighty Mississippi river. Shit, The Budweiser Brewery is ON MY STREET... BITCH! HA!

Man do I love spelling Mississippi.

The guy who played Carbone in "Goodfellas" pulled off the best acting job by dego wop...EVER!
Bunch of Fuckers

Due to recent events, I'm not blogging shit anymore. If you want me to start enjoying work again, maybe you should handle your fucking business like grown men.

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Gettin' em to the Room
By: DoleMACK

Alright, we all know if you wanna bed them bitches you gotta say something to 'em. Not everyone can just open his mouth and have game spit itself. So here's some real basic lines you can use to get her in a dark room. Then you gotta grab that bitches hair, and fuck her throat. Tell her MACK sent you...then wipe the vomit off yo' dick playa.

1. If you ever had sex with a machine, that's what it's like with me. 'Cause I'm a sex machine...

2. I'm easy.

3. Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!

4. Did you know that I saved a girl's life last night? (No.) I pulled an 11 inch piece of meat out of her mouth to save her life. Thankful bitch.

5. I'm like chocolate: I go straight to your ass.

I know some of you thugs might be thinkin' these lines are unoriginal. Fuck you. Fuck you and your discriminatin' ass. I'm out of here, light them hoes up for me.

"I'll make you shiver when I deliver" -MACK
Body Maintenance

(Dialogue From Actual Nic-Daddy "Maintain your Life" Workout Video)
I am so sick of all these guys with the love-handles out there, sitting on their big butts eating Twix telling people what to do. GET UP! Exercise your sloppy ass! Its about time someone came along and shaped things up around here...and I'm the man to do it. So listen up you pukes! Things are gonna change, and the path is paved in sweat and uneaten chocolate. So put down that candybar you lazy, pathetic, bloated, worthless excuse for a man. Yeah, I'm talkin' to you chuckles!

First we're going to do some real easy preventative maintenance. I'll be calling these exercises PMs from here on out. Alright bitches?
Our first PM is going to be a real easy stretch. I call this "checking the logbook". You're doing good! Alright, that's 10! Next we'll get in the inverted TRSS position. Follow along with the video, and you'll master this PM in no time. This one really focuses on the old toolbox if you know what I mean! Okay, on to our final PM - the soldering iron. I really have a field day with this one! Go ahead and point those toes to the sky! Feel that burn!

Our second and final portion for the Maintain your Life workout series involves some more strenuous exercises. Let's start by getting out there and running for at least an hour. I'll see you at the finish line you fat loser! (Momentary silence as "Nic-Daddy" runs a billion miles) Well, that was great! Don't you wish that you were built like me?! Then you'd be able to run like the wind. Well, you're not so don't even think about it you cheeto-eating failure! Get those running shoes off and we'll do 20 of my favorite: the Motivator. I can see these are really getting the blood going! Alright, that's enough for now. I'll see you back here to Maintain your Life in about 2 hours. That's about all the rest your jello-ass needs! Maybe if you drank more soda you could be like me...but I fucking doubt it! Nic-Daddy is out of here. Remember to maintain that ass.

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